Taking Inventory
Today I turned 27, and beyond having to come to terms with the fact that I've officially entered my late 20s (which, to be honest, is a little overwhelming), there is a flood of other emotions felt coming into this week. With all the wins, losses, and unknowns 2020 has brought on, I took inventory of where I'm at and what has gotten me here. For me, this year has meant several things.
This has been one of the most challenging years of my life.
To say 2020 has been difficult for anyone would be a complete understatement. I would have never predicted a pandemic that would halt the world in an instant, nor the severe racial battle fatigue I would feel as a Black woman on a more heightened scale than ever before. All the while, having to put on a brave face and continue to show up every day to perform my personal and professional responsibilities. Simply put, it's been one hell of a year, and I am exhausted. With so much daily loss, isolation, and uncertainty, I would be lying if I said I haven't felt a sense of loneliness and defeat many times over the last few months. It was in those moments I turned to my faith, family, and friends, knowing that no matter how much I've felt like it at times, I am not in it all alone.
This has been one of the most grounding years of my life.
The futuristic side of me is always full speed ahead, preparing for my next steps in life. I didn't expect to postpone my plans and take a detour back home, but I realized it was exactly what I needed when I stepped off the plane in May. Within the last five years, I've worked and lived in four different states across the country, all of which were unforgettable experiences. But the transition to remote work was a chance for me to truly slow down. I don't know if I'll have another opportunity to spend this much time with my family again, and I've made it a priority to be present while I'm here. I've been reminded of things that keep me grounded: binge-watching shows with Mom, hilarious daily family group chats, decorating our Christmas tree, visiting my favorite local brewery, and eating the BEST pizza. I've learned from all of my experiences that I love exploring new places, but being on the east coast brings me peace, and it's where I need to be right now.
This has been one of the most courageous years of my life.
I created my website, spoke unapologetically about my Black Girl Magic, integrated my passion for fitness and brewery adventures through #brewerybliss, and have focused on owning my voice and sharing parts of my story with others. Having described me as someone who puts up walls, to finally knock them down and step outside of my comfort zone, has taken a great deal of bravery and inner strength. I've recognized that it's essential to pour into yourself and now understand the impact vulnerability can have on myself and others. Though I haven't fully mastered this area, it's a beautiful feeling to see how far I've come and how much more room I have to grow.
Like many others celebrating personal milestones this year, I did not expect to begin year 27 in this way. While I'm incredibly grateful for any good that has come out of 2020, I also learned that it's okay to feel disappointed in the things I did not get to experience or accomplish. Though easier said than done, this year has pushed me to give myself grace, stop thinking so much about where I'm supposed to be, and have faith that God has placed me exactly where I am for a reason. As I step into my next chapter, I feel love, growth, joy, hope, and above all, blessed. I’m proud of the person I'm becoming, and I'm walking into year 27 fearlessly.
Affirm | Align | Acquire
